I knew this friendship could not continue indefinitely for my friend would shortly be going away, and the world had no niche into which such a relationship could fit. In addition its intensity was making it hard for me to focus on other important matters when we were not able to get together for our usual meeting. She had her own life to live. I had no hard feelings about that. However, I could not allow anything to interfere with my work or my family, and I knew it would only get worse as she would soon move away to work elsewhere. A little over a year into the friendship I decided to end it. I didn’t know what else to do. I felt it had to be done, and it would have to be done swiftly, abruptly and completely. Otherwise, I would not be able to make it last. I would have been unable to resist being pulled back into it. It was that strong. However, I was very self-centered and just automatically assumed her experience was the same as mine and that she would understand fully the need to do this. With hindsight I don’t think she did.

If regrets meant anything (which they don’t), I would regret not knowing this.